Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Enjoy your Christmas, proles, it could be worse.

At least I think that's the message the Lizard Overlords like to transmit at this time of year. Why else would every soap opera's Christmas edition have to feature domestic violence, cannibalism, sudden death, a clip of someone roaring and pushing over a Christmas tree, oh and the pub in Eastenders burning down (again! I'd hate to be the loss adjuster for Albert Square...) It's not like they can even manage to keep it to just a few gentle reminders that the festive season is a bit difficult for some of us, such as a scene where the bailiffs turn up and snatch away the kiddies' bikes, or the whole cast coming down with salmonella. Or even just Auntie having one sherry too many and shitting her combinations on the new sofa. Mind you, the comfort-and-joy has spread to Actual News at least this year. Crap Christmas? You could have been stabbed over a pair of trainers or indeed shot dead by a loopy family member who dressed up as Santa before going postal.
Or you could be Phil the Greek and have a nice heart attack and stuff up the holidays for all those freelance subs who were expecting a day off but now have to go in and hover over a hot newsdesk updating your obituary in case you do cark it.

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